"The system I oppose provides me the luxury of biting the hand that feeds..."

This happened today. (...) = Thoughts running through the character's head.

Setting: Bronson Park, 4:00 p.m.

*A band begins to play Star Spangled Banner. The boy sits quietly with an open book in his lap, next to a homeless man smoking menthols. An old lady sits behind the boy in a lawn chair, probably purchased at Wal Mart.*

Old Lady: (Who is that boy over there on the bench reading? Why is he not standing for our national anthem?) "Stand!"

Boy: (God I hope I don't blow this test. Is someone talking to me?)

Old Lady: "Stand up! Are you American?"

Boy: "Huh?"

Old Lady: "STAND UP! You are an American, right?"

Boy: (Who in the hell is this lady?)

*The boy stands up with his textbook and continues reading while the music builds and the homeless man still sits*

Old Lady (to the homeless man): "STAND UP! YOU ARE AN AMERICAN!"

Homeless Man: "uhggHgg" (I was almost asleep, lady)

*The music finishes and the crowd cheers*

Boy: (Thank God, I can go back to studying)

Old Lady: "Thatta boy" *patting the boy on his shoulder*

Boy: *Ignoring the old lady* (Kill me)

-

I don't know why I didn't stand in the first place, but I am glad I didn't, because this situation was so awkward and totally worth a thousand laughs.